Beside each “tip” you will find my commentary of thoughts as I read along. Enjoy. I know I did (I did my best to clean it up but well...you’ll see).
44 Things That Girls Love – Yeah They Sure “Love” All These Things. Sigh.
1-Touch their waist – okay, please don’t if she feeling a little bloated. This will only make her feel fatter.
2-Talk to them – this is a pretty good suggestion. Please don’t ignore your woman (unless she’s a nag)
3-Share secrets – what kind of secrets?
4-Give her your jacket – maybe she should bring her own jacket to events. She has access to the weather channel just like everyone else. Unless she’s feeling bloated and needs to cover up.
5-kiss them slowly – does this sound creepy to anyone else?
Are you remembering this? – I plan on forgetting it pretty quickly actually.
6-Hug her – Alright I’ll give you this one.
7-Hold her – Okay…when I hug I usually hold.
8-Laugh with her – Usually I prefer when my guy laughs at me….
9-Invite her somewhere – “Somewhere”? Like where? No where creepy or dingy I hope…
10-Let her be with you when you're with your friends – Um “Let” her? Right…
Keep reading – Oh I’m gonna!
11-Smile with her – This is sort of the same as the laughing bit right?
12-Take pics with her – make sure she conscience please…and fully clothed unless you have permission to do otherwise.
13-Pull her onto your lap – now we’re talking. *Blush*
14. When she says she loves you more, deny it. fight back – fight back? Um…
15-When her friends say I love her more than you, deny it. Fight back and hug her tight so she can’t get to her friends. it makes her feel loved – Yeah when my boyfriend refuses to let me see my friends and insists on telling me he loves me more and won’t let me go…I sure feel loved and not at all like a possession and/or prisoner.
Are you thinking about someone? – Yeah the guy I had put in jail for stalking/abuse.
16-Always hug her and say I love you when you see her – I’d be kind feeling smothered if this was the typical reaction. And Stop telling me you love me all the time. We both know how this will end…..so let’s just enjoy the ride.
17-Kiss her unexpectedly – Like when she’s on the toilet?
18-HUG HER FROM BEHIND AROUND THE
WAIST – OKAY! I GET THE POINT YOU LIKE THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE CAPS LOCK off.
19-Tell her shes beautiful not sexy! – OMG please boys, never ever say, “You’re beautiful, not sexy.” For the love of Bee-Jesus. To do so would be suicide.
20-Tell her the way you feel about her! – Seriously, I think we get the point here honestly.
...20 You need to show her you mean it too – What does this mean….what if you actually hate her? Does this mean you should still show it? Wait is this #20 continued? Me confused.
21-Kiss her on the lips – Well isn’t this common sense? Are there a lot of confused men/women out there refusing to kiss lips? I mean if you’re in public don’t go giving her a raspberry on her tummy.
22-DONT ask her to buy you stuff. you buy HER stuff – I ain’t saying she a Golddigger…..
23-TELL HER WHAT FEELS GOOD – I like that this one was caps lock as well. I am sure she likes to hear what feels good when you force her down after insisting you love her more and refusing to let her see her friends.
24-Make her feel loved – You really throw that word “love” around pretty loosely hmmm?
25-Buy her stuff. small things can still help – we get it. Girls like “stuff”. Good to know. No one knew that before hand right?
We might deny it but we actually like and kinda want you to get us things – So a girl wrote this? I’ve just died a little inside.
26-Don't lie to her – Okay, this should have been a little closer to the top of the list…
27-Don’t cheat on her – Fair enough…and again, pretty important so maybe this should have been before the “buy her stuff”. Women.
28-Take her anywhere she wants – Jesus, I hope this woman is worth all the trouble. Talk about high maintenance.
29-txt message or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at school, and how much you miss her – make sure she never forgets you’re always lurking.
30-Be there for her when ever she needs you, & even when she doesn't need you, just be there so she'll know that she can always count on you – even when she’s in the shitter? “Please Patrick! I don’t need you here right now. Close the door and wait for me in the living room like a normal person!”
”No Honey, I want to be here for you at all times. I love you more than anyone in the whole world! Are you feeling constipated? Did you want me to go get you some X-lax?”
Are you still reading this u better be its important – Oh I bet…
31. Hold her close when she's cold and she can hold you too. – I just…what? This has already been said!
32. When you are alone hold her close and kiss her. – Only when you’re alone? So when she screams for help and no one can hear her? Right..
33. Kiss her on the tip of her nose; (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss them). – Uh them? Who is them? Why are there now multiple partners. This list just got a little freaky deaky.
34. While in the movie, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her lightly. – Yes, when an arm comes around me I will AUTOMATICALLY rest my head on that person’s shoulder.
35. Dont ever tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you're mad. If shes upset, comfort her – This chick has a complex me thinks…even jokingly? Wow.
Remember this next time you are with her – I doubt she’s going to stick around much longer if you do all of this. FYI.
36. When people diss her, stand up for her. – True dat.
37. Look deep into her eyes and tell her you love her. – I’m pretty sure we did this already….
38. Lay down under the stars and put her head on your chest so she can listen to the steady beat of your heart, Link your fingers together while you whisper to her as she rests her eyes and listens to you – Who does this outside of lame scripted movies?
39. When walking next to each other grab her hand – not take her hand, grab her hand and make sure she knows she’s not going anywhere. For good measure you should probably hold her and kiss her and then tell her you love her again and make sure she can’t get to her friends.
40. When you hug her hold her in your arms as long as possible – Even if she wants to leave….
MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED – OKAY I GET IT! LOVE LOVE LOVE
41. Call her at night to wish her sweet dreams – Four in the morning, “Hi, it’s Patrick, I just wanted to tell you, I wish you sweet dreams pumpkin. And you’re beautiful, not sexy. Okay, bye. I love you more.”
42. Comfort her when she cries and wipe away her tears. – This is probably a good idea. But make sure she knows you love her more by holding her and hugging her and maybe you should buy her something because girls like that.
43. Take her for long walks at night – well dogs do need lots of exercise. (Oh Snap?)
44. Always Remind her how much you love her – Remind her? Like what standing outside her window at night wearing this:
So to recap…aside from the usual “don’t cheat/lie” there was nothing useful for men in this article except for this: Don’t date an insecure 16 year old with a Daddy complex.
